Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Coming to a head
Not much to report about Christmas. Not worth the trouble it caused when I got home and the next day. Given ultimatums, things packed and ready to go, hurtful words thrown at me, threats made, realization of what my husband is facing with us leaving led to prayers and forgiveness on both our parts, and have left us in limbo. He is willing to leave us behind. Much needed break apart for now. Lots of snow. And prayer. We will have to address this sooner or later, but for now, peace reigns. Whole family on both sides backing me up...infinitely grateful......
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My deepest sympathy for your current troubles. I told my husband about your situation, and he looked at me and said, "Brain tumor." No kidding, that had been my thought, as well. I have had several times in my life when someone's personality or behavior suddenly changed and it always turned out to be a brain tumor or Alzheimer's. Please have him checked out by a doctor if possible; such a sudden change is not natural and is a symptom of a serious problem. There is usually one of two reasons behind this kind of change: 1) drugs or 2) brain disease of some kind. Maybe he had a stroke. In any case, something is seriously amiss, and it is probably physical.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought regarding the drugs: has your husband started taking any new medications in the last few months? Some prescription drugs can cause changes in personality. My first husband started taking high levels of blood pressure medication when we had been married about 8 years and he became moody, hostile and withdrawn. He even refused to answer if his own sons called him "Daddy." I eventually moved out with our sons and divorced him. My second husband began to show the same signs when he went on blood pressure medication; lucky for both of us, he is very self-aware and had his doctor change his medications. It took 5 years to find the right combination, but at least we are not divorced.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elizabeth, for your imput. I am not sure what is the problem. He has always had a problem with his temper and controlling his anger. He defends it. I do not understand anger-people say things they don't mean, hurt others sometimes physically, mentally, emotionally. Yes, I lose it once in a very great while, and usually for a very legitimate reason-not just because someone else is mad at me. I don't even know where to start about it all when talking with others. But his family is behind me 1000% and for that I am grateful. He is still wanting something to do with this church, and I know in my heart that isn't what God wants for me. He is even willing to let us go from his life if need be to follow these people and their beliefs. It is radically different from anything I have ever heard of before and very manipulative and cunning in the ways they twist the truth...
DeleteThank you for caring enough to write-I appreciate it and if you and your husband are so inclined, prayers would be most welcomed!
Fast forward to June 2020.... amidst this strange strange world we live in now, with COVID19 and people hating each other and craziness and crazies everywhere, i realize now, that the prayers that were lifted up were, indeed, answered by God. I divorced him three years ago and haven't looked back since. An incident with a gun scared me enough, albeit not immediately, to alter my destiny.
ReplyDeleteIm o.k. now. Things are good. I work 80-90+ hours a week, but I'm ok with that as long as God grants me the ability to do so!
Don't waste time if you're in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.
You'll never win.